One of the first things you learn in basketball is the “triple threat position.” All of you elementary school basketball stars know exactly what I’m talking about. This is a basketball stance where you can shoot, dribble, or pass all from one position. Companies spend millions of dollars on office chairs, desks, and training videos to help employees have better posture while sitting at their desks.
But, have you ever thought about how your posture is while you are playing with your children?
Eye to eye
I find it ironic that lots of the suggestions that I’m going to make are actually against what the ideal posture is. Obviously, I would encourage you to have good posture while sitting at work and around the house. But when it comes to playing with your children, you need to do everything you can to get on their physical level.
Most importantly, you need to be at eye level with your children.
That’s right, you have to actually get off of the couch and sit on the hard (although still probably carpeted) ground. Your butt can handle it for fifteen minutes.
I currently have two young boys, ages four and two. While washing dishes one day, I thought about how they must see me all of the time. Maybe a little bit metaphorically, but in a much more real way, how they physically see me. If I were to “put myself in their shoes”, it’s crazy how often they need to look up at me.
Looking up
It’s a common practice in film to include a “low angle shot” of a character when you want to create a feeling of superiority or power for a character. The shot is defined as a shot where the subject is filmed from below their eye line, and tilted up towards them.
The scenes that immediately come to mind are scenes in “The Matrix” when looking at the Agents, or scenes from “A Christmas Story”, where Ralphie is looking at the bullies, or even at Santa Clause.
If these low angle shots create such feelings in us, how much more are they being created in our children who see us like this everyday?
In general, it’s good for children to see their parents as strong and powerful. When combined with a loving environment, this helps the child create a healthy respect for their parents and gives them the sense that their parents will protect them and keep them safe.
But as parents we shouldn’t always desire to be seen as strong and powerful, or we can run the risk of being unapproachable to our children.
Get your butt on the ground
Maybe it’s just having young boys, but whenever I get on the floor it seems like one of my boys is on a B-line to tackle me. Literally without fail, every time.
I remember wrestling with my dad and brothers, and I specifically remember my dad “transforming” (at least in my mind) in a luchador. No longer was he my dad, he was just another luchador in the ring with my brothers and I. Sure, he could absolutely pin us all, but of course he didn’t exert his physical dominance when in the ring.
Do you have a newborn who you can’t really play with? Give them some tummy time on a mat or blanket and go lay next to them. They will benefit from being physically close to you, and seeing your face.
Have back problems where sitting down crouched over creates problems? First off, you can suck it up for fifteen minutes. But, you could also try moving the toys you play with to a table, where you can sit in a chair and your child can stand on another chair.
Obviously I can’t cover every situation, but the point remains. When playing and engaging your children, you need to be on the same physical level to reap the best benefits.
Reflection questions
When was the last time you were physically on the floor playing with your family?
Maybe it’s time for a luchador ring to be created in your living room?
